


invitation

by seeliez (starbitz)



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Apologies, Canon Compliant, Fix-It of Sorts, Future Fic, Gen, POV Killua Zoldyck, Post-Canon, Queerplatonic Relationships, Reunions, Time Skips, whale island
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:21:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25276831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starbitz/pseuds/seeliez
Summary: "Oh my god, Killua, it's actually you! I'm so glad that you didn't change your number!"4 years have passed since they parted ways at the World Tree.
Relationships: Alluka Zoldyck & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 4
Kudos: 69





	invitation

**Author's Note:**

> lol i wrote this whole fic based off of the dialogue from the summary that randomly came to my head

Killua’s phone was ringing from  _ somewhere _ in the apartment. He could hear it, but he couldn’t see it anywhere and he only grew more exasperated with every ring. The one time he actually didn’t know where it was happened to be when someone decided to call him. Just perfect. 

“Alluka! Do you see my phone anywhere?” he asked his sister, who was lounging on the couch. She was watching him amusedly as he dug through the couch cushions, throwing pillows around the room from the same couch she was sitting on. “Are you sitting on it?”

She immediately got up to join him in the search, throwing some pillows around as well, before she found that she  _ had _ been sitting on it. She giggled sheepishly as she tossed the phone to her brother. “Oops, sorry.”

Killua dismissively waved off her apology. Who could possibly be calling him anyway? He sighed as he answered. “Hello?” 

There was a gasp on the other end before the caller spoke up. Killua quirked a brow.  _ “Oh my god, Killua, it’s actually you! I’m so glad that you didn’t change your number!” _ an enthusiastic and very familiar voice said. Killua immediately froze in place. His voice was a lot deeper now. 

“Gon?” What?  _ What? _ Alluka’s mouth fell open when she heard Killua say his name. 

_ “Yep! It’s me! How are you?” _

“How am I?” Killua said, gawking at nothing. His chest felt constricted. “I’m fine, but why haven’t you called?”  _ You said you would _ , he didn’t say. “It’s been so long.”

There was a second of silence.  _ “I’m sorry I didn’t, that’s on me. I just...had a lot of thinking to do. And some other things.” _

Killua hummed. “That’s okay.” It wasn’t. He almost wanted to scream, he missed Gon so much. If it wasn’t for him and Alluka finally getting away from Kukuroo Mountain, he probably would’ve lost it already. 

_ “But that’s not why I called!” _ Gon said, quickly sidestepping the touchy topic.  _ “Are you busy next week?” _

Killua’s heart lurched at what his question implied. After nearly 4 years, was Gon finally suggesting that they see each other again? Just the thought of it brought forth a flurry of emotion as well as the fear of his old feelings for his best friend resurfacing that he had worked so hard to suppress.

But he wasn’t going to lie. He had been thinking about what it would be like to see Gon again for nearly the entire time they had been apart. 

Killua glanced at Alluka, who was now staring at him openly and earnestly. Heat rushed to his face, so he averted his gaze to the lamp across the room. “I’m not. Why?”

_ “You should come to Whale Island!” _ Gon suggested. Killua could perfectly picture the excited smile on Gon’s face. 

“Why?” Killua blurted before he even processed it. He internally chastised himself, then elaborated. “I mean, I’d love to, but Gon, it’s been like 4 years since we last talked to each other. What are you inviting me to your home for?”

_ “I’ve been traveling for so long, I feel like I owe it to Mito-san to come home every once in a while,”  _ Gon said.  _ “And also, I really miss you, Killua.” _

Killua chewed on his bottom lip. Gon was always so honest, and hearing him say that with a voice that had clearly matured in the time that they’d been apart made his heart flip uncontrollably.  _ God, _ Killua missed him too. He missed him so much it had hurt for so long and still does if he thought too hard about it, but he couldn’t bring himself to voice those thoughts the way Gon did. 

But he felt like there was something else in the tone of his voice, a tinge of something deeper, of a feeling resembling guilt, as he told Killua he missed him. Even if Killua was right, that there was something Gon wasn’t saying; his next words showed no sign of anything but excitement. 

_ “So what do you say? We could run around the island like we did all those years ago and catch up. I’m sure Mito-san would love to see you too.” _

He wanted to. He wanted to go so bad, but he hadn’t talked to—let alone  _ seen _ —Gon in years. What if it was awkward? What did he even look like now? Killua had grown quite a bit since he was 12 and he knew with certainty that Gon had too. Killua felt his entire body warm at the thought of a taller, fitter Gon, with the same sun-kissed skin and the bright smile he always had. He wanted to see that smile again more than anything. 

But he couldn’t help but feel a bit irritated about the fact that Gon never called after they parted ways so long ago, yet he was talking to him and inviting him over to his house as if nothing had changed. A lot had, and Killua had felt so lost for a long time after they went their separate ways. 

_ “Killua, are you there?” _

“I’m here, I’m here. Sorry.”

_ “You don’t have to come if you don’t want to. I know this is kinda short notice.” _

“I said I wanted to, didn’t I?” Killua said. Then he glanced at Alluka, who was still staring at him. “I just don’t want to leave Alluka here alone. She lives with me now.”

_ “She does?”  _ he asked. He sounded a little surprised, but also a bit excited.  _ “I can’t believe I forgot. You should bring her then!”  _

“Really? Would that be okay?”

_ “Of course, Killua!” _

Killua was quiet for a second more. He glanced at his sister, who nodded eagerly. “Okay. We’ll come.”

_ “Yay!” _ Gon yelled. Killua had to pull the phone away from his ear. He fought the laughter bubbling in his chest. Some things never changed. _ “I’m so excited, you have no idea.” _

Killua smiled now. “I am too. But I have to let you go, I need to go buy the tickets.”

_ “Okay! I’ll text you,” _ Gon said. It sounded like a promise. 

“Bye, Gon.”

_ “Bye!” _

Killua stared blankly at his phone for a second after he hung up before collapsing onto the couch. His phone fell from his hand onto the floor and he covered his face with his hands. “I can’t believe that just happened.”

“Why aren’t you more excited about this?” Alluka asked. The excitement in her voice was almost enough for the two of them. “You talk about missing Gon all the time, and now you get to see him next week!”

“It’s because I know there’s something else he wants me there for,” Killua sighed. “I don’t know what it is, but I highly doubt he would call me out of the blue after 4 years just to invite me to Whale Island to catch up. It would be so easy to just catch up over the phone.”

Alluka flicked his forehead. She grinned when Killua moved his hands to glare at her. “You’re thinking too much. Just buy the tickets, okay? I’m sure everything will be fine and I know you’ll have a good time.”

“You’re talking like you’re not coming with me,” Killua quirked his brow. 

“Oh, I know I’m going with you. I wanna see Gon again anyway,” Alluka grinned. “So go buy those tickets!”

Killua remembered when he had gone to Whale Island for the first time they had to go by boat. There were no airships that flew directly to the island probably because of what Gon had explained to him once; that Whale Island was mainly a place to rest for fishermen who were out at sea for a long time. So, he had to buy tickets to a place with a port that would take them to the island. 

“You okay with a boat ride? We can’t get all the way to Whale Island by airship,” Killua said. Alluka followed him as he moved toward the old computer they had in their apartment. 

“That’s fine! I’m sure it’ll be fun!” Alluka replied. Killua smiled. 

“I guess we’re headed to Whale Island then.”

*

The week leading up to the date on their tickets came and went faster than Killua was prepared for. Gon had stayed true to his word and texted Killua over and over again with more enthusiasm and exclamation points than Killua had ever seen. But it still felt strange, he was happy that he was finally getting to see Gon again, but there was still some anxiety swirling in the pit of his stomach. 

Alluka grabbed onto his hand with her free one, pulling his mind back to where they currently were. They were on the boat headed towards Whale Island. When he turned to look at her, her features were neutral albeit with a trace of concern. “It’ll be okay, Killua.”

Killua looked from her to the seemingly endless ocean in front of them. He squeezed her hand. “Yeah.”

As they waited for the island to come into view, Killua told Alluka about the last time that he came here with Gon; about Mito-san and about all of the little secrets of the island that Gon showed him. Killua smiled easily at the good memories. The first time he came to Whale Island was truly the first time that he felt he was in a real home with people who cared for him. Everything he could remember about the time he spent there with Gon and his family was times he honestly wished he could live through again.

“Now I see why this place is called Whale Island,” Alluka said with a smile as the island came into view. “It’s cute.”

When they docked on the pier, Killua was suddenly made aware of the fact that he had no idea what to do from this point. Was Gon waiting for them somewhere on the pier, or was he waiting for them at his house? Did he even remember how to get to Gon’s house? He knew it was on top of a hill, so it couldn’t be too hard to find.

“Let’s go, Killua! What are we waiting for?” Alluka sang, pushing Killua towards the ramp to disembark. 

Killua’s questions were answered when he spotted Gon. Well, when he spotted them. Killua’s heart nearly stopped at the sight.

“Killua! Alluka!” he yelled with a smile, waving his arms around from the back of the crowd. Killua could spot that head of hair anywhere. Gon wasn’t wearing the green he always wore years ago, he had very obviously grown out of those clothes from the way he was now able to look over most of the heads in the crowd. Killua could see more visible, pronounced muscle in his arms, because now, again, they weren’t covered by the long sleeves he used to wear. His skin was tanned in contrast to the loose, white tank top he was wearing and even with the smile splitting his face, Killua could tell how much his features had matured. Killua could hear his own heart pounding. 

“Gon,” Killua said quietly, a bit breathless. Gon tore through the crowd and wrapped his arms around the two of them the second they stepped foot on solid ground. Killua froze for a moment before he wrapped his arms around Gon too. 

“Looks like you’ve got some height on me now, Killua,” Gon smiled when he stepped away. That was true, now that they were standing in front of each other, Killua was definitely a little bit taller. “And your hair’s longer! It definitely suits you.”

Killua continued to just stare at him, almost as if he couldn’t believe that Gon was actually standing here before him in all his glory. Time had truly treated him well. When Killua failed to respond, Alluka nudged him with her elbow. “Oh. Uh, thanks.”

Gon smiled and turned to look at Alluka, who immediately smiled. “Look at you! You look great, Alluka! How have you been?”

Alluka had actually just recently cut off some of her hair, it was now just past her shoulders. She brushed some of it out of her face. It was pretty hot out. She smiled. “Thank you! I’ve been really good, actually.”

Gon started walking in the direction of his house and the two Zoldycks followed behind him. “How was the trip here?”

“It was good. Pretty uneventful,” Killua said simply. 

“I’m glad,” Gon said. Then, “When I told Mito-san that you guys were coming, she was so excited. It’s been a long time since she last had this many guests.”

“Thanks for inviting us,” Alluka said. 

“Thanks for coming,” Gon returned with a smile. 

Alluka and Gon talked for most of the way to the house at the top of the hill, the one that Killua remembered so clearly. The area around Gon’s home was bright and open, which was a stark contrast to the Zoldyck family mansion, which was dark and deep within the forest. Part of him always felt like he didn’t belong in a place like Whale Island, he felt almost as if he would taint its purity just by being there. 

Gon eventually ran ahead of them so that he could let Mito-san know that they were here while Killua and Alluka walked leisurely up the hill. Alluka grinned slyly at Killua and leaned into his line of sight as they walked side by side. 

“You’re being unusually quiet,” she noted. “And I saw that you were staring at him.”

Killua took a defensive step away from his sister and waved her away. His face flushed. “Oh, shut up. It’s just because this is the first time I’ve seen him in 4 years.”

The house soon came into view as did Mito-san, Gon’s grandmother, and Gon, who were all waiting for them. “Killua! It’s been a long time,” Mito-san said as a greeting. Then, “And you must be Alluka!”

“I am, hi! Thank you for letting us stay here,” Alluka smiled, bounding up to the Freecss. She grabbed onto Mito-san’s hands as she thanked her. Killua offered a small smile. It really had been a long time. Too long, but it definitely felt good to be here. 

“Please, come inside. I already prepared lunch,” Mito-san said. 

Everything was so...pleasant. It was therapeutic to be sitting at this table again, without a care in the world, and with people who were important to him. This time, though he didn’t do the same as them, he was quiet and he waited as the Freecss offered their thanks before they began eating. He glanced at Alluka, who was sitting directly next to him and found her looking over each of the family members with a bit of confusion. Killua poked her thigh under the table and waited until she looked at him to raise his finger to his lips. She nodded, understanding. 

When they all began eating, Killua was bombarded with the questions he was expecting. 

“What have you been up to, Killua?” Mito-san asked. 

Killua shrugged. “Honestly? Not too much. I’ve mainly just focused on getting stronger and showing Alluka the world.”

Killua remembered how the first time he came here with Gon, on their first day, they were energetic beyond belief at this very dinner table. He and Gon had really only been focused on each other during that meal. Now, he felt strange with the awareness of multiple pairs of eyes on him. 

“Have you been to any cool places?” Gon asked eagerly. Killua was overwhelmed all over again by Gon’s excitement about things like this, but it reminded him that that was one of the things Killua loved most about him. Killua willed the familiar feeling swelling in his chest away.

“Well, what do you think, Alluka?” Killua asked, turning to look at his sister. She pursed her lips and thought for a second before delving into a story about when Killua took her to the city for the first time, specifically Yorknew City, and how it was her first time seeing so many buildings that tall. Everyone listened to her stories about how exciting traveling the world was. 

Gon was, of course, nodding enthusiastically along with her words. Killua wondered if he was remembering the times that the two of them had gone together to those places. 

When Killua was thinking up places in the world that he could show to Alluka, he started with the places he had been. Specifically, the places he has been with Gon. While they were there, in the beginning, it was honestly really hard for him to keep his best friend off his mind as they went. All that those places did was remind Killua of the times that he missed. The times that he spent with Gon.

“Honestly, though. I think the main reason I like all these places is because I was able to see them with Killua,” she said with a smile, turning her head to look at her brother. “It’s been nice to finally get out of the house.”

After they ate dinner, Gon helped Mito-san clean the heap of dishes. Killua stared at him through the doorway, watching and noticing more of the little things about him that had changed over the years. Gon’s bright, innocent smile was unchanging, though, despite the horrors he had been through in his 16 years of life. He smiled as he talked to his aunt about anything and everything. The air around him told Killua just how much he had matured as a person over the past few years. And now that he was actually looking, he could even see that he was taller than Mito-san.

Killua found himself exiting the house before the sun began to set, looking for a nice, quiet spot behind the house to get some fresh air. After about 10 minutes, Killua could hear footsteps on the grass behind him. He knew who it was. 

“You okay, Killua?” he asked.

Killua turned over his shoulder to look at Gon, whose eyebrows furrowed slightly with worry. The latter let out a sigh and turned back to the setting sun, silently inviting Gon to sit next to him. 

“I’m okay, don’t worry,” he assured him. 

“Okay,” Gon said simply and sat himself down right next to Killua. “But I can still tell that there’s something on your mind.”

“You’re crazy if you think there’s not,” Killua laughed. As his laughter died, he let out another sigh, staring at the water below them. “I mean, it  _ has _ been 4 years, after all.”

Gon was quiet for a long while and Killua could feel his gaze on him. He decidedly ignored the feeling of his eyes on him until Gon grabbed his hand. “Come with me, real quick.”

“What?” Killua protested weakly as Gon dragged him to his feet.

“I’m gonna show you the best place to watch the sunset on the island.”

“This isn’t it?” Killua asked, his eyes lingering on the sight of their hands together before looking back up at his best friend. 

“Of course it isn’t,” Gon grinned. Killua smiled and rolled his eyes, allowing himself to be dragged along. “I know everything about this island.”

As they ran, Killua felt light. He felt like he was floating. There was such a strong feeling of familiarity and contentment in his heart that he wished he could feel this way forever. Gon’s hand was still in his and Killua was staring at his back as he followed him, but Gon was in his element. He was where he belonged, running among nature and absorbing everything it had to offer. 

“Gon, where are you taking me?” 

“Just wait and see, Killua. I promise you you’ll love it.”

They ran for a little while longer, but when they finally came to a stop, Killua finally understood what Gon meant. They were standing at the base of a massive tree, one that Killua assumed was the biggest and oldest on the island; even bigger than the one that they fished from. He looked up at the top, which he couldn’t even see due to the sheer amount of shrubbery, and then back at Gon. “Up there?” he pointed with his free hand. Gon smiled widely and nodded his head. 

“Race you to the top?” Gon asked. He let go of Killua’s hand and bent his knees, preparing himself to jump. 

“Loser buys the winner a meal?” Killua grinned, preparing himself as well. He wiggled his fingers at his sides, feeling the familiar electricity flowing through him. His skin prickled. Whether it was in excitement or from the electricity, he didn’t know. He was more than ready to show Gon how much he had grown over the past 4 years and to see how much his friend had grown as well. 

“Of course!” Gon said. “Ready?” Killua nodded. He waited. “Go!”

Killua let  _ Godspeed  _ and his reflexes guide him through the branches. He was confident that he would win; he had done a hell of a lot of training, after all. But Gon was always exceeding his expectations in the past. What would make it so different now?

Within seconds, he was bursting through the leaves at the top of the tree, Gon surfacing at the same time with a smile on his face. Killua gawked at him. Honestly, he was surprised that he was surprised. 

“I figured you would use your  _ Godspeed  _ in a race,” Gon grinned. “You’ve gotten faster, but so have I.”

Killua opened his mouth to speak but was abruptly smacked by a gust of wind coming from below them. He nearly toppled off of the branch the two of them were perched on. It was as if the wind from their trip to the top of the tree was finally catching up to them. When his hair settled back around his eyes, he blinked owlishly at him. “Did you  _ jump  _ all the way up here?”

“Almost!” Gon said enthusiastically. “I used a few branches to get up here, but I was able to keep up with you.”

Killua stared at him for a few more seconds then broke into a smile. He playfully punched his shoulder. “You’re so damn cool.”

Gon’s eyes widened, then he grinned sheepishly. “Thanks, Killua.”

“How do we decide the winner, then?” Killua asked after a second, putting his hands behind his head. 

“Rock, paper, scissors?”

Killua laughed. “You’re on.”

After they tied 3 times, Killua won with scissors when Gon threw out paper. The latter grumbled in disappointment as Killua laughed for mere seconds before he started chattering about a restaurant in town that he really liked that he wanted to take Killua to. He said he was friends with the owner too. 

Once Gon finished describing a story about how the owner happened to have to bandage him up the first time they met when he was younger, Killua finally got a good look at the stars. He had never in his life seen the sky quite this clear; the stars’ brightness was such a stark contrast to the dark space between them that they looked like drops of white paint on black paper. Gon wasn’t kidding when this was the best view. There was no light pollution at the top of this tree.

“Do you sit up here?” Killua asked. Gon nodded. “Where?”

“There’s a platform that was nailed into the tree a little further down a long time ago. Mito-san says that it was Ging who got it all the way up here,” Gon pointed a few meters below them. Killua looked over the edge and sure enough, there was a platform. Gon jumped down the rest of the way and Killua followed after him. 

Gon sat down at the edge of the platform and let his legs dangle over it. Killua followed suit and eyed his best friend as he turned his head towards the stars. He took a look too. 

“How often do you come out here?” Killua asked. He put his hands behind his head and laid down on his back, taking in the beautiful clarity of the stars.

“Well, I’ve only been home for a few weeks, but a lot more recently than before I left the island for the Hunter Exam,” Gon laid down too.

Killua hummed in response and let out a deep breath before shutting his eyes. The two of them lapsed into silence, the sound of the forest’s bugs serving as their white noise. Killua thought that maybe if he were a different person, he could fall asleep out here.

“Killua,” Gon said after a few minutes. 

“What’s up?”

“I’m sorry.”

Killua’s eyes snapped open. He sat up and stared down at Gon, who was already looking at him. “What? What for?”

“For everything that I said, back then. For being selfish and not thinking about how you felt then, and how you felt after,” Gon started. Killua had looked away from the intense look that he had in his eyes, but he could feel that Gon was still looking at him. “Killua, I’m so sorry. I was terrible when we parted ways 4 years ago, and I am still terrible, calling you out here after an entire 4 years out of touch just so that I could get this off my chest. I’ve just been a terrible friend.”

Killua bit his lip and pulled his knees into his chest. From beside him, Gon sat up too, still staring at him. “Thank you. For apologizing,” Killua said quietly, drawing in the dirt with his finger to distract himself. “But I have things to apologize for too, you know? I could’ve stopped you, or I could’ve at least  _ tried _ to, but I didn’t. I just...didn’t have the courage to and I have never regretted  _ not _ doing something more in my entire life. Seeing you hurt like that...” Killua fell silent.

Gon grabbed onto Killua’s hand, forcing the latter to look up. Killua’s mouth parted in surprise at how watery his eyes were. “I want to be your friend again, Killua. Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?”

“I never stopped considering you my friend,” Killua said, with confidence. His gaze was steady. This time it was Gon’s turn to be surprised. Being apart for so long hurt, but Killua knew deep down that Gon was too special to him for him to give up. So he kept talking. “What you did to yourself made me upset, I’m not gonna lie, but I know that there was a lot you were feeling then. But I never once considered you less of a friend because of it.”

Killua went stock-still when tears began to fall from Gon’s eyes. Wait, what was he crying for? Gon’s grip on his hand tightened slightly as he tried to control the steady flow of tears, to no avail. “How can you be okay with what I did to you?” Gon cried, using his free hand to wipe viciously under both of his eyes. He breathed in a shallow breath. “I just left you after being a complete jerk. For  _ 4 years _ .”

“You were my first friend, and you are my best friend,” Killua said. “Gon, I know you. You have a lot of love to give and a lot of love in your heart, even though I have never felt like I was worthy of it. I have always believed in you and your resilience, and in the hope that we would find our way back to each other one day. So I  _ am _ okay with it, or I will be. We can make up for the lost time. I think we both needed that time, in the end.”

Gon was still holding onto Killua’s hand as his shoulders shook, his breathing just as shaky. His head was down and the sight of Gon curling in on himself in that moment broke his heart. Killua bit his bottom lip to try to keep his own tears from spilling over. Instead, he found his body moving before his mind could keep up, and his arms were around Gon. 

Gon initially froze in place, but after a few seconds, he wrapped his arms around Killua as well. Gon let the rest of his walls down and choked out a sob. 

“Gon,” Killua whispered into his hair. Gon kept trembling. “It’s okay.”

* 

Killua knocked quietly on the door of the room Alluka and him were staying in to let her know that he was coming in. The walk from the forest to the house at the top of the hill was a bit long, and the two boys had spent most of it in silence. Gon had honestly looked more tired than Killua had ever seen him; he almost seemed like he was deflating. Killua wondered briefly if that was a good thing. Maybe that apology had been something he was worried about for a long time. That thought made Killua frown a bit.

Once he was inside and had the door shut behind him, he heaved out a sigh. He was really tired even though he and Gon really didn’t run around all that much. He flopped onto the tatami mat and Alluka put down the book she was reading to study him.

“You talked to him,” Alluka stated after a second. 

“Yeah, I did,” Killua said. “How could you tell?”

“Well, you sighed very aggressively,” she began humorously. “But the tension in your shoulders is gone,” she moved from the bed to sit next to him on the floor. She poked her finger at the space between his eyebrows. “And that crease is finally gone too. It had pretty much been there since he called you last week. I know that coming all the way out here was a big deal for you.”

All Killua could do was laugh lightly. “I guess I was pretty obvious. I do feel a lot better now, though.”

“Why don’t you go to him tonight, then?” Alluka suggested. She threaded her fingers through his hair. “Talk some more. Make up for those 4 years of lost time.”

Killua stared at her. He almost felt like she was reading his mind. He sighed again and closed his eyes. “I don’t know, Alluka. I feel like that would be weird since-”

“Killua,” Alluka interrupted him. Killua shut his mouth. “If you weren’t this dense, you’d realize that Gon wants you here as much as you wanted to come. You missing him wasn’t just one-sided, I hope you’ve at least realized that while being here.”

Again, all Killua could do was just stare at her. Then, he snorted, sat up, and pulled her into a hug. “Look at you, all wise ‘n stuff. Are you sure you’re actually younger than me?”

“I’m not  _ wise _ , I’m just not dumb,” Alluka laughed, struggling to get out of his grip. “Now, let go of me and go see Gon already! I’m tired of seeing you all mopey.”

“Okay, okay. I will,” Killua sighed. He let go of his sister and slowly made his way to his feet. Alluka was still sitting on the tatami mat as he walked out of the room. “Thanks, Alluka,” he called over his shoulder. 

She smiled softly. “No need to thank me.”

Killua remembered that the first (and last) time that he was here, they just slept in the same room; Gon’s room, so Killua knew exactly where it was. This time, Killua and Alluka were staying in the extra room just down the hall. As far as he was aware, the Freecss didn’t use it for much and had just tidied it up for the Zoldyck siblings’ arrival. 

When Killua approached the door, it was already shut. He could see that there wasn’t any light coming from under the door and he bit his lip, hesitating. What if Gon was already asleep? This was probably a stupid idea. 

“Killua?” came Gon’s voice from inside. He hadn’t even knocked, though it wasn’t surprising in the slightest that Gon noticed his presence. Killua turned the knob and pushed the door open. 

“Hi,” Killua said. He shut the door behind him and made his way over to Gon. “Can’t sleep?”

Gon was sitting up and leaning against the wall, staring out the huge window that was next to his bed. There was no curtain. Killua remembered that during the rare times that they didn’t have anything to worry about and actually had time to be relaxed enough to sleep, Gon would always wake up with the sun. Maybe that was a habit that he got into since he grew up on this island, always itching to explore for as long as the sun was shining. 

“I could ask you the same thing,” Gon replied as Killua sat at the end of his bed. It was no question; they both knew full well that the other was tired. They fell into a comfortable silence. 

“How does it feel to be home?” Killua asked after a moment. He looked out the window too, wondering what Gon was looking at. The stars were still just as bright as they were when they were up in the tree.

“It feels good. It’s definitely been a long time,” he answered simply. Then, “But I like it even more now that you’re here again.”

Killua’s lips curled ever-so-slightly upwards at Gon’s words. They turned to look at each other at the same time. “I like being here, Gon,” Killua said. He bit his lip. There was a lot on the tip of his tongue, a lot that he didn’t say earlier, and a lot that he probably wouldn’t get to say again if he didn’t say it now. So he decided to continue. “I think...when I think of Whale Island, I think of purity, and I think of you. I think of a beautiful, open sky, and the kindest people on this planet. And I feel like a monster sometimes, but I have never felt as welcomed and accepted anywhere else as I have been here. I think of freedom and fun, and I think about how important this place is to you.”

Gon was quiet, his expression one that Killua couldn’t quite read. Killua wasn’t going to let that distract him. He kept going. “Gon, ever since the last time that you brought me here, I wanted to come back again. I mean it when I say that you, your aunt, and your grandma have shown me how a family should care for one another and that you guys have changed my perspective on a lot of things. Honestly, I wanted to stay forever,” he chuckled sheepishly. Gon moved closer to him. At his ever-intense gaze, Killua found himself looking away. “My point is, I really like being here with you. And I missed you. A lot.”

“Killua,” Gon said softly, twining his fingers with Killua’s. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you talk about your feelings this much before.”

“That’s all you have to say?” Killua whispers, an airy laugh escaping his lips. He kind of felt like he was far away as he processed the feeling of Gon’s hand in his. Killua hoped that his hands weren’t clammy. Regardless, he squeezed Gon’s hand. “Not gonna comment on how I just poured my heart out to you?”

Killua was about to start talking again, but the words died in his throat when Gon kissed the back of his hand. “You’ve always been amazing, Killua. I’ve known that since we took the Hunter Exam together and I sure as hell know it now,” Gon looked at Killua again. The moonlight from the window was illuminating his face. “I thought about that a lot, while we were apart. I thought about the raw strength that you have from the way that you grew up and I also thought about how strong you are for leaving your home the way you did, and for finding and knowing what you want from this life. I’ve always felt selfish for wanting you in my life after everything because I didn’t know if you wanted me in yours anymore.”

“Gon…” Killua started. Gon didn’t give him a chance to interrupt and continued talking.

“But having you here with me again has made me realize that I would do anything to have you by my side again, and for you to forgive me,” Killua shot him a look but Gon blatantly ignored it. “It makes me happy that you’re willing to give me another chance.”

“Traveling with you sounds nice,” Killua said quietly, looking away again. “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

Gon gave him an eager  _ mhm  _ and a nod. Then, “This might sound weird, but I’ve been thinking about this since I saw you at the port, but can I touch your hair?”

Killua blinked owlishly at him, his face hot. Among the things he had been expecting, that was  _ pretty  _ low on the list. “Huh?”

“You’ve kept it longer than it was 4 years ago and it really suits you, but I’ve been wanting to like, feel it, since I saw it,” Gon said unabashedly. 

“Gon, oh my god,” Killua nearly squirmed. He covered his face with his free hand. “How can you just ask things like that?”

“What do you mean? What’s wrong with me asking to touch your hair?” Gon asked, genuinely confused. Oh, how things haven’t changed a bit. 

Killua let out an exasperated sigh and dropped his hand back into his lap. He couldn’t help but smile. “Go for it, I guess.”

Gon smiled widely as Killua tilted his head down. He let go of Killua’s hand and used both of them to thread his finger’s through the strands of white. Killua realized over the past few years that he liked it when people played with his hair, Alluka did it all the time. 

“It’s so soft,” Gon mumbled. Killua exhaled slowly, but a bit shakily. 

Gon then launched into a story about one time 2 years ago when he almost burnt all his hair off and all Killua could do was laugh along with him. A genuine belly laugh at Gon’s animated way of telling stories. They went back and forth with their stories; from Gon’s time with Ging and the other times with Kite, and the time Killua and Alluka had been spending together and also when they coincidently ran into Leorio in Yorknew City. 

Killua never went back to the guest room he was sharing with Alluka. When Mito-san and Alluka found them tangled together in Gon’s bed he next morning, they didn’t mention it. 

**Author's Note:**

> hi there thank you so much for reading, i hope you liked it! i like to think that gon and killua are both more emotionally aware and intelligent as they get older, but specifically killua. so i made them talk about their Feelings. i honestly don't have much else to say about this since this was extremely self-indulgent lol.


End file.
